i want a boy who will move the hair away from my eyes, and then kiss me. who will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. a boy who lets me sleep on his chest. i want a guy who will tell his family and friends all about me. bring me soup or orange juice when i’m sick. i want a boy who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say at the right times. i want a boy who will call me 3 times a day if he went away. a boy who will apologize for calling too much, and no matter how many times i tell him its okay, he’d still do it. a boy who will let me gossip to him and just smile and agree with everything i say. a boy who will throw stuffed animals at me when i acted dumb and then jump on me and kiss me a million times. who will bet kisses on who could beat who on at game. who makes fun of me just to make me laugh. a boy who will surprise me with 25 cent ring and we could have contest of how far we can spit our gum. who will take me to the park, put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. a boy who will kiss my neck, just to have a reason to tell me how much he loves my new perfume. i want a boy who, at night, who will dance in his pajamas with me. a boy who will take pictures in photo booths with me, someone who will never turn down a trip to the lake and who will play tag on the beach with me. a boy who could sit with me on the kitchen floor and eat sandwiches. who will kiss me in the pouring rain. i want a boy who would try to teach me how to play the guitar, even if we just end up laughing at each other. i want a boy who will run his fingers through my hair, share his lollipops with me, and get along with all of my friends. someone who would never be afraid to say i love you in front of his friends and someone who would argue with me about silly things just to make up. i want a boy who will take me to target to just make fun of some of the stuff there. someone who will kiss me at midnight on new years and who will make funny faces at me when i’m on the phone. i want a boy who will count stars with me and be friends with my family. i want a boy who will stay home with me on a friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket. someone who will squirt water guns at me in the house after i’ve got him soaked. i want a boy who looks me the eye and tell me something serious, that was also funny and make me promise not to laugh. a boy who could make me laugh like no one else can. i want a boy who will hold me closer than normal when i’m sick, and would play with my hair. but mostly i want a boy who is my best friend and will always be there for me.

Worry about your character and not your reputation. Because your character speaks for who you are. Your reputation in the other hand, is just what people think you are. And how people think, u cant force them to change. But who you are, is totally up to you to mold.

So, let the new year be a whole new chapter for u to decide, and re-define yourself .. Just, who you really are ♥

For the better.

New.

You.

I LIKE

Your mischievous smile

Your rather weird hair

Your sense of humor

Your preserve mind

The occasional annoying conversations

The burning touch of your fingertips on my skin

How you know most of the things on my mind

I just wanna lay down with you, nap with you, hold me when we sleep together, cuddle with you, hug you, kiss you on your cheek while you’re still asleep,Play with your hands too, and just lay my head on your chest and fall asleep with you.

You’re the softest pillow,and the cuddliest teddy bear.

Fall asleep in the afternoon in your tacky pj pants,and me in some sweats. Then at night wake up and watch movies all night. Your parents might think we’re doing something,then they walk in to see that we’re just peacefully resting together. Knowing that I can just sleep with you makes me realize, we have something special. I can lay here with you forever,

Perfect.♥

Back to updating my blog. It's like sooo dead. Just feel really uninspired to blog. I would totally blog more, except that my days are SO extremely lazy I absolutely have no activities to blog about!

Plus I'm almost 99% wearing casual (meaning unattractive) clothes and without a trace of make up so I'm not in the mood to take a lot of pictures.


Actually there are quite a few things to blog about, eg: my 3 days 2 nights trip to Genting and KL.
I need to edit the pictures 1st. Not to photoshop my face lah (it's much needed though, I look like crap). We brought along 2 cameras, 1 shitty and 1 okok. Guess what: being the clever girl that I am, I forgot to bring the charger for the "okok" camera!! So it died by the 1st night, which left us with the shitty camera!!

Damn mad at myself for that. Anyway, all the juicy details shall leave for the next post ;)
The purpose of this post?? Well... Just a quick update: got myself a new job, new hair colour.. Just a lot of new stuff. Going through major changes (like real). I promise to blog more (when I can)

I can’t promise you perfection, because that’s not who I am. I can’t promise you forever, because I don’t hold fate in my hands. I can’t promise you the sunshine, because there will always be rain. I can’t promise you complete happiness, because with true love, there comes pain. I can’t promise you I’ll always smile, because life always finds a way to make me cry. I can’t promise you I’ll stay strong, because it’s not easy to want to give life another try. I can’t promise you this life will always be fair, but I can promise you that no matter what, when you look back, I’ll always be there.

You know that feeling? When you're just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you're tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay. But no one's going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you're tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won't be. But you're still hoping. And you're still wishing. And you're still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You're fighting...

I want to be so many things.

You make me wish I was as beautiful as you seem to think I am.

I'm afraid of you. I'm afraid of how much I like you and the ways in which I think I like you and how none of it makes sense...

I’m the kind of girl who is quiet in large groups or around people I don’t know; you only see the real me if we’re close. I smile and laugh a lot, especially at the most inappropriate times. I’m a hopeless romantic who’s too afraid to fall herself. I trip over air, up stairs, and over people’s feet. I am the hardest person to offend, but it is all too easy to make me feel horrible. I hate telling people about my problems; they don’t need to worry about me. I’m the one who listens to other people’s problems. I believe people should not be judged before one takes the time to get to know them, yet I am guilty of doing that exact thing. I love to think rather than talk. I prefer rainy, cloudy days to sunny ones. I’m awkward, clumsy, shy, strange… but this is me. Take it or leave it.

'I love you' means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you, just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you're down, not just when you're fun to be with. 'I love you' means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, hoping that you feel the same way for me.

如果你的女朋友生气了...

1、

如果你的女朋友在你面前哭了

无论什么原因，请抱紧她..

再反抗也要抱紧！

趴在桌子上永远没有在你怀里安心..



2、

如果你的女朋友指出了你的不是

请不要总是嫌她唠叨

若不是因为在乎她不会说你..



3、

如果你的女朋友和你赌气不理你，不要也学她

这正是考验你们的时候

"脸皮厚"的精神此时不发扬又更待何时?





4、

如果你的女朋友不听你的话，转身走了..

一定要追上她！

若真的还爱着，丢下她一个人你又如何放心呢?



5、

如果你的女朋友说"你走吧！我不想理你了！"

千万不要相信..

女人最是口是心非，其实那是她最需要你的时候




6、

如果你的女朋友生气了，说心情不好不想吃饭

千万不要问她想干吗?想吃什么?

她一定说什么都不要..

买好你记忆里她最爱吃的东西(最好是有包装的，这样等她心情好了再吃也不会冷)

但一定不要以自己也不吃来威胁她




7、

如果你的女朋友对你们说狠话

请保持三秒钟不说话

然后搂过她的肩

笑笑说："老婆，你讲话的声音真可爱！"





珍惜你们的女朋友

不要把她们想的坏、想的复杂

女人要的永远最简单



她忙碌的时候不一定就是充实，或许只是因为寂寞

所以如果你爱上她，就不要怕打扰她



她跟你吵架时不一定就是真有事

而是想撒娇没找对途径

错误的以为这样你就会注意到她

吵完架不要给她时间冷静

实际上她一点也不需要冷静

她需要你跟她说话哄哄她



她想哭时先不要问原因

而是在任何时候任何状态下

都先给她一个肩膀让她有依靠



她不知道该怎么办时就喜欢说分手

多半都是在以退为进

尽管常常让自己没有了下台阶



她整天跟你唠叨个没完时

是因为她还在爱你愿意与你分享

女人不爱的方式，才是沉默



她成了"黄脸婆"的原因常是因为沮丧

而这种沮丧一定和你的爱有关

所以，也就能够改变



她梦想一些不切合实际的浪漫时

不要粗暴地打断她

如果连梦想也枯萎的女人更可怕



大多数时候她都是动态的

你也千万别总是静态

相处时你们更需要互动，哪怕是争执不休



女人都是水做的

所以情愿热着她也别冷着她

不然一过了零度她就会结成了冰

最终冻着你



她有时候需要听一些谎言

比如要你说什么你就说什么

在你不脸红的情况下说到她脸红



她烦闷的时候最不喜欢一个人待着

这时候她是不会嫌你烦的

你越跟她缠绵她心里就越好受



当她吃醋的时候可不是好玩的

最有效的办法还是让她无醋可吃

要不在醋缸里淹死的可是你



女人的眼泪并不都是珍珠

但你一定每次都把它们当成珍珠

这样她才会变得连哭都很吝啬



她说得话你可以适当忽略

但在她需要你的时刻请陪在她身边

这常常可以让她回味一辈子



女人都是感性的

所以常会做出一些你认为弱智的事情

也正因为如此，她才需要你的提醒与呵护


不是所有的女人做了母亲后都会长大和变得坚强

所以正确教育孩子的重任常常是在你的肩膀上


她骂你的时候是因为爱你

她打你的时候也是因为爱你

这一点上和男人的表现刚好完全相反


温柔的女人也会有脾气

坚强的女人也会有脆弱

独立的女人也会有固执

你选择了她就请承担她

"Why did you let your mother down again?" I fucking hate this sentence.. Have I not done enough to prove to her that I do care and want the best for her?
1st I quit school to be with her. Ppl say to me: you are still young, still got time to study, don't worry, but you only got 1 mother. If you don't be with her now, you may regret it later.
So I gave up my future here, my dreams, my life. Honestly speaking, those that I gave up, no matter how hard I try now, I just can't find it back. And those were the best things I ever had.
Those who dunno thinks that I'm those play girl who only knows fun, that's why I quit school. Fuck that!!
Now that she comes back here, I quit my job to help her out, I'm being said to be living off my mother, so useless, what the fuck is this?
Have I not done enough??
I'm not gonna care whether my mum is happy or sad. From this moment on, I live for myself. I'm the daughter she gave birth to, take it or leave it.

Now I understand why some people get themselves drunk.
It's not because they want to escape each killing moment the spent every fucking night thinking about what's happening with their damn life. Of course they don't forget their problems, but at least they don't spend the night crying themselves to sleep.

Adults sometimes can be even worst than a child, more childish, more insecure, harder to coax.

Why? Because they are hurt once too many times to trust and love someone like they fall in love the 1st time round. And fuck it! Whenever they are unhappy, the people around them suffer too.

I was just trying to help.. Is there a need to throw tantrum at me too?? You have your bad days, so do I!! Most young adults at my age are busy chasing their dreams, making a name for themselves. What about me? I'm here to back you up. Because of you I gave up my dreams TWICE!! Why are you still not happy with me? Not trying to understand me a little?

I want my freedom!! I'm already jailed in this place for more than I can take..

Wonder why would you feel unwanted and disposable, when I always shower you with love, care and concern. This make me feel like, whenever I shower wit love care and concern, you will open up an umbrella and block all of those away, maybe just allow a few drops to sprinkle on you. It's like all of my efforts hab been wasted, like you hab ignored all the things that I hab done for you. I guess it doesn't mean much cause it's coming from me, not...
:(
Did you know how many nights I had cried myself to sleep thinking how disposable I'm to you? I feel like I'm watching a really nice horror movie, knowing there is a big bad thing gonna happen, just not knowing when it'll take place or how. But because it's so good, I'm willing sit through it, even though I knew the ending.
I keep wishing and praying every single day that "the ending" part will be different. Even though whenever I whisper those wishes to the stars, those prayers to god, my inner voice keep telling me "it'll never happen."
Just hope you know that I'll always hold you dearly to my heart, whether my heart is whole or broken. I'm not pushing you away, just don't wanna let you see me break down. Don't wanna show you my tears, just my smile.

He said to me: "even if I go flirt around with other girls, but I'm still coming back to you, you should be happy enough, that's enough to show you that I love you. You should learn to open one eye and close one eye."

I dont even know how to decribe how I felt when I heard this.

It begins when I tell him I'm going to Hong Kong with my girls next april. He replies by saying that it's a good thing, so that he can go taiwan with his friends without having to bring me along. Asked him why he seems so happy about it, his answer was: "because with you around, I cant go gui hun with my friends wad. So many places I cant go, things I cant see."

I'm quite an open minded person, what is it that he wanna see and do that cannot do it in my presence? And he gave me the answer as above. That really left alot of questions in my head, am I being too doubtful?

I once thought I had turn into one of those annoying girlfriend who always doubt their bf. Has no self esteem, and demand attention. Somehow, now I kinda realized, it's not me who had changed, it's him.

Checking out girls even when I'm around, even openly comparing me to them. Eg: look at her legs, so slim and long, that's the kind I like, look at yours, ew! like stewed pork trotter. Or: wa! her waist so power, up there one, dear ah, try harder.

I used to tell him: 'wa dear! tat girl so pretty.' because his respond used to be: 'so so only la, who would be prettier than my dear' I no longer do it as I'm afraid of the hurtful words he'll say. I think it's partially my fault, as I allowed him to have power over me, I valued every of his opinions. Making him think that he has the right, but shouldnt he understand that there is a limit to everything?? That words can kill??

Just feel so hurt...

Tears after tears. I don't even have the power to hold it back.
"You belong to the group of girls who needs make up on to look pretty, but even ur make up look weird."
These words keep on echo-ing in headm and when it play in my head, my tear will start rolling down again. I'm so overwhelmed with emotions.
I know that I'm not a stunningly beautiful women, that's why I always put in extra effort to look good. That sentence really sent me straight to hell!
If it was to come out from others mouth, I would hab just brush it off, and laugh at the person for not being able to appreaciate my beauty that's all.
But it came from u! The 1 person that I trust and love. So that's how you always see me as?

How was your long weekend holiday?
Mine passed by like those F1 race.. Zoom zoom and it's all gone..
Tomorrow have to go back to work!! Life sucks!!

Shall blog more tomorroa since I'll more time..

Wow first time blogging with my blackberry..

I thought this year would be a really good year. but so far everything is in a mess..
Sometimes I wonder if there are people who actually remember that I'm only 20, bearly an adult..
They all expect so much from me, and I've to struggle so hard to live up to it..
I may give ppl a feel of being the "I don't give a fuck" kind of girl..

Yes! I don't give a damn about how you feel or how you see me if you are a nobody to me. However, if I do care, it would kill me to know that I let my loved ones down.
But who actually turned back and think "hmm.. Actually I had let amy down too."

Maybe my life would be much easier if I don't care. :(

Remember the days before every kid in school had a cell phone? The good old days when if you wanted to tell someone something you had to secretly write it down and scope out your trustworthy peers and rely on their combined effort to deliver your note while avoiding detection from the teacher? But now, all you have to do is find the right angle to hold your phone in order to get enough service to send a text msg.♥

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
How was your three days of visiting?
It definately tired me out, but earned easy money. Lol...
Followed baby around to visit his families. They all seems to know me already, can't we just hurry up and take the next obvious step already? ;p

By the way, I think put on alot of weight liao lor!! Thanks to all the good food =.=

Let's the pictures to all the talking from now...










CNY shopping at China Town with colleagues and manager, it hot and humid, to add to my suffering it was bloody crowded! The trip was rathering fruitful though, got alot of stuff back, like all the goodies that help the needle on my weight scale move more to the right.




Stuff my face with food!! Like my hamsters, like owner like pet!! LoL..



At the Kok's clan HQ. My baby was so happy that he got so many Ang Bao.
It was rather boring though, everyone was fighting to get a chance to play com. I was reading My Sister Keeper, NICE!!







My tired feet! So much for pretty heels. =.=


Met Huimin walk walk at Orchard, everywhere was still closed. =..=


Sumsious meal for the new year! Yum!! This is gonna be a yumilious year :)


Love!!


Love max!


Got this from baby for my birthday. I feel so sorry for spoiling his suprise plan for my birthday. Fuck my tantrum!! I appreaciate the thought being put into it though.

Well, that more or less concluded my CNY. BBQ and steamboat coming up soon, and company dinner, FML more food!! =.=
I need to go london weight management liao.

How did your year end/start?

Mine ends with a big bang.



Will be there again this year end. Who wanna join me? Lols.










Black hair now by the way. Does it look better? Or bright hair better?



I'm so obsessed with this show, I had stopped watching dramas for quite sometimes now, but the moment I start watching this, I'm hooked!!



And this movie too, so touching!! It's a 4/5 from me.

OMG!! My blog is rotting away!! Shall be updating it tonight. Be ware!! Heavily loaded with pictures.

QUICK UPDATE: gotten a new job as purchaser, changed hair colour, still same old boyfriend =.=