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sometimes i just dunno wad 2 do....miss him so much.....but kan meet him 2 often....hab 2 fill up his place wit sth else.....dun dare 2 hold onto 2 him 2 tightly...beiing afraid tat he may wanna fly away frm my arms....fly away 2 find his own freedom....gotta pretend lik i dun mind.....i wonder wat moii life wld biiex without him.....i'm so pampered by others....but feel so neglected by him.....so lost....mayb we should nort hab even started....den i dunch hab 2 go through all tis anymore....hurts, lost, insecure, confused n a hell lots of mixed feelings....can any1 tell miiex wad 2 do.....dun wan let go...really wanna ask him....if i let go of ur hand n run away....will euu chase after mii n bring miiex back??....or yiiew jus let miiex pass....lik how euu did 2 others who had passed ur life??....i'm trapped by tis loneliness.....so empty....

2day went out wit huimin....finally.....there's a day when i can relax....the past whole wk i've been training n working.....ii must bi a superwoman la.....or else ii won noe how did i make through the wk alive......although moii new job issh kinda relaxing....but sumtime too slacking make mii feel really sleepy....da ppl r friendly la....hmmm...actually no complains abt tat job la....kinda love it 4 nw....hmmmm...lets talk abt the movie ba.....we watched flushed away...trust mii...euu shld nv miss tis movie....it's so funny.....ii lurv the sluts....they sang so well...they are d main attraction of the show ba....it's so funny...but the whole cinema issh soo empty.....after tat we met up wit aini at bugis....we walk rounds n rounds.....till i got no more energy liao.....den we setled down at mac...hab a drink n chit chat.....we saw a cute guy....actually issh mii la....den we started makin fun out of it....huimin n i laughed lik xiao la....lol......2day issh a fun yet tiring day......tmr gotta go back 2 training n work again....haiz......

today went 2 sentosa wit huimin.......wanted 2 get a gd tan..... but so bad luck...the sun was nt in fav condition.....we ended up going to vivo city instead...had lots of fun there...... we played wit the water n at the playground..... n of ocs...shopping!!!!!! we felt so poor there...... all r branded..... check out some fun pics we had taken tgt........

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2dae we went 2 visit some seniors citizens.......we had loads of fun worx.....here's a sumary...enjoy...

haiz.......haiz.....haiz......2dae gort back exam results.......sum how it was better than ii expected la....but of cos issh nth gd..........ii failed 2 subs.........but..ii guess ii grew immuse 2wards failure le..........or mayb ii jus noe myself 2 well tat's whyiie......anywaes.........ii noe ii won bii able 2 enjoy moii hols well.........haiz.......anywaes...ii dunch tiink ii'm tt kind of study pai de.......all ii wan issh 2 bii a well known dancer....dancing issh moii life.........but moii mummy just dunch understand it........how sad rite......hmm......but ii gonna prove her wrong de....1 dae i'll de........

hmmm..2dea issh a beriie beriie gd dea...hee...morning when 2 watch roob-b-hood wiit xiao lao gong, bai gu n san chang.....although almost late fer da show.....we managed 2 catch it in da end....phew...such a close shave.....da show issh damn funny lorx....at da same time issh touching too....ii criied moii heart out.....oso laught moii heart out.....omg....how ii wish moii baby can bii as cute as da baby in da show man!!!!!!tis show issh definely a movie euu shld neber miss out.......must watch must watch.......aftr tat went tuu miit darliing n jun jie they all......n moii mei mei as well.....haha...it's quite fun hang out wiit them la...but without darliing ard ii still feel lik sth missing lorx......hmmm.....darliing arh......hmmm....da best tiing issh tat ii actually slapped jun jie twice lei.....hahaha.....pro rite.....hee......he diin dare 2 slap back.....still sae if any1 beat miiex he wld stand up fer miiex lei.............how kind........touched worx......but ii still prefer darliing 2 protect miiex larhx....hee......anywaes.....i gotta go orh orh liao......*yawn yawn*..... nitez evry1......sweet dreamx.........

yeah..tmr last paper lerhx...yeah yeah yeah...just naw when study in library witt moii "family"....hahaha.....instead of study we played lorx....but awhile onlii la.......den went back 2 study.......suddenly mr chan turn up...he freaked da day light out of miiex la.......wad the helll.....kan wait fer tmr 2 over man!!!!!!!!!!!haiz..............i'll bii dead ba.......haha........due 2 stress........

last nite sharon jie jie suddenly called miiex..i was lik so shock la...i tot she gort her baobei den 4got moii existance le lei..anyweas..we chatted 4 an hr liddat..den customer in...den we hung up...i was hoping tat she wld call mii back de lorx..but she din la..wad a baddie...she told mii a verie shocking news la..she dun wan her baobei lerh..lik hu will believe la...ever1 noe wld noe how nuch she is into her baobei la...i oso jealous wit her la...but ppl always sae tat i'm just a jealous kid...so i dunch bother her anymore la..ii do wut oso wrong la..her baobei is always rite lorx..haiz..she kena transfer out lerh..transfered to her baobei de store la...some1 happie le lorx...haiz...moii hols cming liao..dunno ppl free 2 pei mii go out ma?? or 2 busy "working" la...haiz..........

2dea went to cacth prawns wit dearie..hmmm...i din catch any of them...nort cos i kan catch la...cos i din wan 2..cos i dun think i can catch any de lorx..hee...at 1st we catch onli very few prawns lorx..i explained 2 dear tat d weather issh cold..so d prawns went 2 slp...he gort very impatient...anyweas...there were lots of ppl there..gort 1 ger..she isssh lik a prawns magnet de lorx..stand there fer awhile she wld catch a prawn lerh....some more all of them r huge...ltr part of d day dear managed 2 catch 1 huge 1 n a few small 1...at least he caught a few..haha..it is lik so pathetic...

2dea xiao lao gong became moii model worx...........she gave miiex hell lots of headaces man........she kept moving abt........ii couldn't concentrate.......haiz haiz......ii took lyk 3hr30mins 2 complete lorx...in fact ii could hab fin it in 1.00 hr onli lorx.......haiz haiz.......but iit was funn la......onn da way home wit bai gu jing...hab loads of fun "playing" witt herr......but abit scare 2 make her cry la.........lurbiie them lots xia.........

2dea went 2 deprive witt xiao laogong, zhu zhu and bai gu jing.........we ate and drank bubble tea........had fun......ya..well....some ppl wld sea tat we shld bii revising......but ii seriously nidd some relaxation lorx........ii had video it down... will try ta upload it here.........

2dea went 2 library wit moii lao po n bai gu jing........i was late wor...........haha........we were supposed 2 study lorx............but we ended up playing.......kan blame us......we r young!!!!!anyweas......moii lao po gort study la.........times really fly......almost late fer moii class.......whyiie i always late ah.......other than time i supposed 2 miit lao gond dar dar la..........so tired and sleepy xia..............

haiizz........ tests tests tests nn tests......... stress xiia.......holz ii'm gonna play lik xiao man.....ii promise myself tat......xian la.....no money lefrh........haiiz.......wutt a poor princess.......jobless......where r moii knights.......neber cum 2 moii rescuse derh.....sobz.......

we look so tiny
omg, wad's tis

nuraini, mii and yilin

went 2 victoria theatre 4 a dance concert..man..it's sooooooooooo boring..i almost fall asleep...but had fun crazying ard wit frens..hahaha..

jus rebond moii hair.. n got a new hair cut.. spnt 4hrs sittng there.. some more made moii dear worried.. haiz.. sum say tis new hair style suit mii.. while sum say it's nort.. fan larh..........arrrrhh..........

@day went swimming witt moii xiiao lao gong worx.. very funn lorx.. but ii almost died.. she beriie cruel worx.. c mii drowning oledi still ask mii niid help marh.. hmmm hmmm hmmm.. aniiweas.. she saved mii in da end.. or else.. die lerh oso won fang guo ta.. wahahahaha.. darr darr.. dunn get scare by mii worx.. jk onlii horx.. nxt tymm wii go swimming again keas..

tis pic was taken at the arcade tat we went 2day.. we played d para game.. hmmm.. i was so lousy.. hmm.. gotta stick 2 moii old fav.. rock fever ba.. haha.. abit lame..

haiiz.. 'm soo tired.. gonna stop work 4 awhile lerh.. concentrate on moii fiinal exam 1st.. chiong lik xiao.. try 2 get da best result tat ii cann.. but really kann stand da feel of an empty pocket.. haiz.. kann buy new clothes, kan watch movie, evrth oso kann do..worst than die lorx..
haiz....

last niite went 2 wanpiing bdea party.. iit was sooo funn.. n gortt soo manii ppl... nort lik mine... soo boring.. ii invited soo many ppl.. in da end neber turnn upp.. onlii a few la.. ii gort no mood liao lorx.. haiiz.. hope tat moii 17th bdea wld bii beter ba.. hmmm.. ii believe soo..coz gort dar dar wiit mii ma.. he'll help mii organize until berie perfect de..

2day a sc meeting was held.. ahiz.. coz of sum childist ppl backstabbing others.. wutt issh da point of backstab??? others wld tink tat euu rr backstabbing them as well lorx.. dunn lik ppl denn tel them straight 4wards marrhh.. or iff yiiew kann do itt denn kip iit 2 urself ba.. haizz.. nvm.. they still small.. but i oso kann say munch lorx.. cos ii sumtyms oso accidentally backstab ppl.. but reallie nort intentionally de lorx.. hmm.. so kann trust wutt ppl say 100%.. trust abt 20% cann lerh.. unless yiiew c iit witt euur own eyes lorx..

ii was asked 2 bii a model by a modelling co.. but gotta pay $450 for my porfolio.. haiz.. 'm soooo poor... where gort $$ lorz.. oso dunn wanna ask frm moii parents... dunno y larh.. but ii just dunn wanna ask frm them lorz.. but really wanna rty out leii.. haiz.. xian arrhh.. y kann $$ just drop downn frm da sky lik rain or snow leii.. dunno still gort how long denn cann reach moii dream ne... wanna borrow $$ frm ppl lorz.. but scare kan return them leii.. aaaarrrhhh.. y i wasn't born witt a silver spoon in my mouth.. or mayb a golden 1 wld bii better..

sumhow ii passed da nsrs miracly.. but ii stil dunn receive ani compliments.. evr1 say tat iits jus moii lucks.. haizz.. but ii was reallie lucky 2 pass da test larrhh.. orr else reallie dunno wutt will happen 2 mii lorx.. hmm hmm hmm.. soooo scared!!! hiazz.. dearie issh busy wit hisshh study.. jie gort new frenz.. no1 2 pei mii.. ii feel soooo lonelie.. haizz.. n ppl around mii seem 2 b avoidinn mii lorx.. hopefullie all tis feelinn r jux cos by moii loneliness..

2dea went 4 da NSRS test.. haizz.. ii did reallie badly lorx.. shld nort habb tak da test.. anyweas.. ii was reallie seriously unprepared 4 itt.. ii onlii noe ii habb 2 tak da test last niite.. 1 nitte 2 study.. n tiss mornin ii habb an exam iin sch.. ii habb nort runn tat station 4 ages.. 'm soo stressed out.. ii habb recieved no encouragement at all.. except my precious jo.. ii was reallie berie sadd.. my store de ppl all say ii won mak it.. n ii was jus a replacement.. ii noe 'm da worst crew of all.. but do they habb 2 do so?? haizz.. evr1 jus look downn onn mii.. ii reallie wanna quit da job.. but ii won habb $$ iif ii do so.. moii worst disappointment issh moii god sis.. she oso laughed at iit n made funn of mii.. she 2.. din habb faith in mii.. 'm tired n siick of da job.. felt lik iin da whole world.. 'm da lousiest personn.. she wenn out 2 buy clothes 2 attend her aiai de bdea party oso neber ask mii along.. she asked another fren instead.. n she told mii tat she habb left tat personn.. yet nw.. haizz.. ii wonder wutt 'm ii 2 her anymore..

MOOD: sadd n forsaken.... lonely n worthless....