Thursday, July 19, 2007

Went through the letters that flame dancers gave me the other time before i left singapore. I felt so touch by the words they had written. Especially huimin's one. It's like 4 pages long, the longest letter i had ever received. It brought back so much memories. Some of them I had long forgotten. Forgive me T_T
I didn't know I had touched so many life. Not in a very heroic way though. Just bit by bit, the little fun times, a little advice, some small secrets or even a few words of encouragements. I used to think that I'm so useless, so not great at all. I don't even know who will stay with me through all the thick and thins. Lend me a hand when I'm falling? Or will just laugh at me for falling? Seriously, I do think I had mild depression. Laugh all you want! I tried so hard to cover all my short-comings. However, now I realised my importance in some lives. Not really very important so much that they can't live on without me. But my existence had some how changed their life. It's really great to feel that way. At least, I knew someone will cry for me when I'm gone. I'll be remembered. Sounds like I'm dying, huh? I used to think that many people dislike me. I used to get upset cause of that. However, it doesn't matter anymore now. Why? Not because i'm not in singapore anymore. It's because i know there are people who loved and cared for me. That's more important.
Flame dancers, thanks for the tank top you guys gave me. I will never wear it. I swear. Not because I don't like it, definately not because I can't fit in..(NO!!) It's just because I wanna keep it safe. I think I should frame it adn then hang it above my bed, then I can see it everyday and night. OK. Now thats freaky. I shall just keep it safe in the heart shaped box. Then next time I've children, take out and show them, then followed by grandchildren, then great-grandchildren, then.... Oh my god! I'm thinking too much and going too far. Anyways, thanks alot guys, I mean girls. I'll never give up dancing, though I've different plans for future. Talks about dancing, my feet feel itchy already( I washed my feet), it had been 3 months since I last danced. DANCE FOREVER.

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